Trash-talk: Toronto Raptors Week #1

Kyle Lowry: King of the Doghouse

Lowry is clearly adored — he got the last ring, he gets the last announcement in the starting lineup, etc. — but, man, he looked like a goofball at the ring ceremony.

I don’t know if he was just getting super comfortable, leaning into his “I don’t care” attitude, or forgot that 2.6 million viewers were watching on television, but the hoodie tucked into the sweatpants was a ghastly look.

My suspicion is that he just doesn’t care. He’s clawed and clamored his way to a championship, so he really no longer cares what people think. Unless, of course, you refer to him as an underdog. I suppose the man deserves it, but let’s see if the tucked in hoodie remains a staple of his look as we go through the season or if it subtlely goes away.

Speaking of Lowry, though, the best part of the ring ceremony was him trying to get Gasol and Ibaka’s attention before unveiling the banner. It was painstakingly obvious that a 640-diamond ring was mesmerizing for those two as Lowry said, “Yo, yo, yo Marc… yo, yo Marc, Serge” as they stared relentlessly at their ring laced finger.

But come on now, the devil on their collective shoulders has to be at least thinking: “Man if I’m ever broke I could sell this for so much money.”

With the ring and a hangover perhaps, Gasol was not in tune for most of the game, either. And, seriously, did we expect anything else for Game 1 after that season and FIBA World Cup run?

Lowry made sure to mention the missing teammates, as well, but something that keeps me awake at night is how is Jeremy Lin going to get his ring? Now overseas, are they going to overnight ship it? Customs and shipping on that are going to be just as expensive as the ring itself. Do they fly someone on a private jet just to deliver it by hand? Does he return to Toronto and get a handshake and a sly ring pass like I try to do with five dollars when I want to be seated earlier at a restaurant?

THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS I NEED ANSWERED, MASAI UJIRI, NOT WHETHER OR NOT STANLEY JOHNSON WAS A SMART PICK UP!!