The Toronto Raptors may not be playing any ball in the near future but here are five hacks to feel like a member of the team.
While everyone is at home social distancing and looking for activities to occupy their time, there is a way to find a connection with the NBA. It’s to do things that make one feel like they’re a member of the Toronto Raptors.
These are the top five ways to feel like one of the Raptors while social distancing.
5. Feel like Serge Ibaka
We’re going to kick this off in a strong way. Serge Ibaka made headlines when he wore the longest scarf most people have ever seen and followed that up by gifting all his teammates Nobis scarves.
While you could just get yourself one of these large scarves to wear There’s no certainty that the garment would be available while social distancing continues. So to make your homemade extra-long scarf, empty your sock drawer and start sewing.
Sew together enough socks so that they wrap around your neck and hang almost to the ground. Now you’re the best-dressed person in quarantine.
Just to make you feel a little more like Ibaka, you’re going to need to channel his on-court energy. If your seclusion involves at least one other person in your home, you’re going to have to involve them.
Every time they’re walking by you holding something, swat it out of their hands. You can yell “Iblocka!” if it will help your housemate understand why that had to be done.
4. Feel like Kyle Lowry
For this, you’re going to once again need to be social distancing with at least one other person. Feeling like Kyle Lowry is a simple exercise.
Every once in a while, get into your quarantine-mate’s walking path and plant your feet. When they inevitably bump into you, drop to your backside. While they’re standing there puzzled, stand up and calmly say, “that’s a charge.” Then, take whatever item they’re holding out of their hands and immediately begin walking in the opposite direction with it.
3. Feel like the team in the playoffs
While the Raptors achieved the ultimate success in 2019, before that they only knew disappointment. Unfortunately, the easiest way to feel like these teams is to mail your lunch to LeBron James.
You know he was going to bully you and take it anyway, so go ahead and send that man your tuna fish sandwich.
2. Feel like Nick Nurse
You probably don’t own a monogrammed hat with your initials like the one Nick Nurse loves to wear while doing postgame press conferences. It’s time for that to change. Find an old hat or better yet, find someone else’s cap.
Pull out a sharpie and in large letters, draw your initials on the front. Once done, play some Arkells tunes while you clap along. Bonus if you can play guitar and jam along to their music in your new-old hat.
1. Feel like Marc Gasol
There are a few ways to feel like the Big Burrito, Marc Gasol. Since he’s listed at 6-foot-11, he’s certainly larger than most Raptors Rapture readers. That means most don’t have a similar sensation that he does of towering over others.
If you have kids around, stand in front of them, raise your arms straight up in the air and tell them to try and put back the jar of jam they’re using. This won’t get old so go ahead and try it with just about every item they touch at home.
If you’re the shortest person around or home alone and of legal age, we’ve still got you covered.
Set yourself up to re-watch the 2019 title run in a nice comfortable setting. Once the buzzer sounds and the team celebrates, it’s time to get your Gasol on. To do that, find a bottle of booze. No need for a glass, you’ll be drinking straight from the bottle. Drink your preferred beverage and then ask yourself if you’re still sober enough to give a speech at the parade. If the answer is “yes” then you’re not ready yet. Repeat with more bottles until that answer changes.
Be sure to wash your hands while singing the chorus to ‘We Are the Champions’ and stay safe.